So I'm kind of a masochist. Not in that Fifty Shades of Stupid(witty, right?) sort of way, however; which might be unfortunate for my blog, since apparently vivid descriptions of torturous sex acts bring the readers in droves - who knew? Nope, sorry dear readers we're sticking to talking about video games here. You'll just have to borrow that certain trilogy from your neighbor or mom or whatever. Moving on...
Freaking Dark Souls! And on top of that... freaking Demon's Souls! Both games make me clench my jaw as well as other muscles that I don't regularly clench. They make me sweat, and sometimes cry (inside only - I mustn't outwardly show my weakness to the Souls games, lest they cleave me in two). And sometimes, only sometimes, they make me want to quit playing video games altogether because: they crush my spirit, and make me feel completely inadequate, like I'm Uwe Boll attempting to team up with Quentin Tarantino for my next film, only to find that by the second day I... well, I'm Uwe Boll, enough said. But, on the flipside, each time I finish off a mini boss, or an actual boss boss, the feeling of joy and accomplishment is so great that I can't imagine any other game giving me that kind of rush I feel when conquering even a small part of one of the Souls games. So what happens when I actually complete one? Will it be such a grand and fulfilling experience that the prospect of Half-Life 3 and a new Deus Ex will merely bring a shrug of the shoulders and a "meh" tumbling from my lips?
Okay, so the answer is "no"; and while much of this is hyperbole, some of it does ring true. When it comes to games, I am quite the masochist, and the Souls games whip it real good in the places that count, baby. But there's another layer to my history with these damn games, one that stretches beyond mere gameplay, but is inexorably tied to at the same time. *Queue dramatic music*
Basically, I think I'm slightly cursed when it comes to playing Dark & Demon's Souls. I purchased Demon's Souls the December after its release, fully aware of the experience I was about to embark on, and loved the crap out of it. Not pleased with my first character, I started a new one and began kicking some ass. I was maybe halfway through the game, when my PS3 decided to quit loading games and any other disc-based media. I was pissed, and scared that all my game saves were trapped forever. After three months of weighing my options regarding various fixes found on Youtube, I went with the wrong one. Of course. I ended up erasing and reformatting the entire harddrive, losing all of my saves. On the bright side, my PS3 was functional again and I began another new game of Demon's Souls. Did I back up my harddrive then, you ask? Pfft! Hell, no! I set off like Mister Magoo and began stumbling my way through the game from the beginning again.
After a period, I actually had about 80-90 percent of the game behind me, and then my PS3 died. Completely this time. Wouldn't even turn on. I tried dismantling it and cleaning the innards out, but it required more work to fix than I felt like putting forth. So, I bought a new one ('cuz I'm rich, like that), with a squeaky clean 120 GB harddrive just waiting for yet another of my Demon's Souls saves.
I began Demon's Souls once again with fervor, because on top of having a new Playstation that surely wouldn't poop out on me, I was now playing on a beautiful 70inch LED TV that really has no business being in my house. The game was prettier, and I had at least two years of off and on experience to throw behind yet another character. This one was special though, this one was to be my last. The one I beat the game with. He would triumph where others had been struck down by acts of God and other random calamities. But...
And here's the much less tragic, yet still somewhat annoying second-half to my Souls games story.
I knew I wanted Dark Souls when it released for PS3 and 360, yet I waited. I had to complete Demon's Souls first, I told myself. But then Dark Souls released, with DLC included, for forty dollars and I couldn't wait any longer.
So, how awesome! PC versions are always better than their console counterparts, right? Better graphics, and settings for fine tuning performance? Well, after purchasing I perused the Steam forums to see what people were saying and found that. lo and behold, Dark Souls for PC was considered one of the worst console ports ever made. And I suppose that's true, but really, if you have the machine to run it, you still get the same experience as the console version with a slightly more stable framerate. Slightly. Very slightly.
Here's the rub: my machine just couldn't hack it. I had a dual-core processor from six years ago and a low-end video card. Still, I was stubborn. I persevered through the 10 to 20 fps for many hours, until I realized that my eyes were beginning to hurt. Yes, Dark Souls for PC caused me physical pain. Okay, not to whine, but it was still uncomfortable. So I quit. As I quit, was forced to quit, Demon's Souls many times before. Oh woe is me, and all that.
So now, months after purchasing Dark Souls, I finally have a PC that can run the damn thing - even with Durante's amazing fixes enabled. And it looks great. It plays, well, as great as it can play. Which is fine. I'm happy, and blazing forward once again until something comes along to either distract me or breaks my game saves. Wait, Dark Souls II was just announced at this year's VGA's??? Here we go again, dammit!
Even the Ents are bastards
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